Mew, Mewtwo and The Jar
by inksoul.enchanted
Summary: Mew has a Jar. A Jar with something special inside. That special thing is Mt Quena sugar. Mewtwo wants it and a huge war ensues. Mew vs. Mewtwo. Nothing will stop the sugar-eating contests. Who will win, Mew or Mewtwo?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I decided to write a random fic again. Sorta like POTMBF, but this time, I'll try and update constantly! Watch and learn why you shouldn't give Mew or Mewtwo any sugar. Ever. Don't even let them see your sugar jar.**

0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 Mewtwo.

**M**ewtwo stared. Really stared. He watched. And watched. What was he watching, you wonder? Well, your answer is simple. The sugar jar. To be precise, Mew's sugar jar. Mewtwo looked around cautiously. It would practically _murder_ his reputation to be caught doing anything like Mew. Because this was definitely from Mew. The instinct to eat, drink, lick, taste and swim in sugar. Hell, Mew even had a _bath_ made out of frozen sugar. Slowly, Mewtwo reached out and grasped the massive jar. It was full of the most delicious sugar in the whole world. This sugar was made from Mt Quena spring water mixed with Moon Stone dust and a single Lunar hair.

0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 Mew.

**M**ew felt something. She felt something _touching her sacred sugar jar_! Mew searched furiously for the aura signature. It was Mewtwo...heheheh...he had obviously inherited her affinity for sugar. Good to know that he had got at least one trait from his mother. Now. Revenge. Mew decided she wanted to be and feel evil.

"VENGEANCE WILL BE MINEEEEE!" she screeched. Evilly. Or so she thought. Everyone else thought it was just a battle or something and went about with their everyday business. Mew was annoyed. Where was the massive wave of fear she had expected to feel? Stupid amplifiers...why couldn't they work properly for once?

0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 Me.

**M**ewtwo had The Feeling. If you don't know what The Feeling is, go find out. Even I, the author, doesn't know. Hey, does that make sense? Meh. Mewtwo's many senses tingled and he felt sleeeeeepy. Yeah...it's nap-time for us. Or maybe sleepy-byes, cause I'm feeling reaaal sleepy. But maybe that's cause its 2am and I usually feel sleepy after having a hot bath. You never know though, it could just be me.

0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 All of us!

**I**, the author of this fic, Mewtwo, King of All and Mew, the First of All, wish to thank you random people sitting around reading this. If I don't update within a week, tell me off and I'll update. Hopefully, cause usually nothing but blackmail works...but anyway.

Mew: I GOTTA JAR OF SHUUUGA! I GOTTA JAR OF SHUUUUUUGA! (Sings out of key)

Mewtwo: ...You do know you're singing out of key and have the words messed up? Right? (Stares at Mew oddly)

Me: Shuddup...we have a jar of sugar to finish, Mewtwo. We should eat it all before Mew wakes up from her dream.

Mewtwo: Dream? She was _dreaming_? Why the hell are her eyes open?

Me: Because she's weird that way. Now shut up and start eating.

Mewtwo: Don't you think we should tie her up first? After she finds her sugar gone, she'll probably try and murder us or something.

Me: ...Good idea. Tie her up, minion!

Mewtwo: ...I don't have hands, remember? (Hides his hands behind his back)

Me: Orly? USE YOUR POWERS YOU DUMB KITTY!

Mewtwo: ...Just shut the hell up. And by the way, do the disclaimer.

Me: Oh...right. Okay, I do not-

Mew: Teh auzor doth nawt ownz us. An' by us I meanz me an' Mewtwo. Good day...ZzZzZz...

Me: She did it for me. Saved me a lot of wasted breath too!

Mewtwo: Let's just take the sugar, tie her up and go, okay? (Picks up the sugar jar)

Me: Sure! I'll tie her up! You Teleport us to...uhh...OHIKNOWZ! Mt Moomoomilk! (Ties up Mew. To a post-box)

Mewtwo: Teleport! (Teleports to Mt Moomoomilk after seeing a picture of it in my random mind)

**The End Of This Chapter. **


	2. Chapter 2I'm updating!

**A/N: I got bored and decided to update...methinks I might write a HP fic soon. Mebbe. Oh yeahs, I'm probably gonna change my penname. Again. xD I'll tell you what it'll be when I next update, kay?**

**M**ew narrowed her eyes again. She turned her face to the sky and did a Superman pose. "UP, UP AND AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" and she disappeared. Turbulence hit her face and her lungs popped open.

"Nevermind...", she said, using Recover to fix her deflated lungs.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

**M**ewtwo screeched in horror. Somehow. His vocal chords...died and he became MUTE. "...!", he tried to say, "...! ...!". He sighed and closed his eyes. *POOF* he went in a cloud of pinky-bluey-purpley smokey stuff. He reappered in Heaven, with Arceus.

"_Ahh...my man-made son. Cloned from Mew. Aged 1444444 days. Adult. Pessimistic. Negative. Hiding from Mew. Tried to steal sugar."_ Arceus nodded sadly as his already massive ego inflated slightly. "_We have all tried at some point. All of us. The Lakers, the Elements, the Whatchamacallits, the rest of 'em. Yes. Mew caught us all. We can offer you no refuge my son. Get out before Mew kills us all, got dat?"_

Mewtwo stared in shock at the slightly senile, ancient, sleepy, cruel, evil, kind, fatherly, strange, mysterious, loving, evil and surprisingly small Pokemon standing beside him. "Bu...wha...NOOOOO! PLEASE, YOU CANNIT DO THIS TO ME! I HAVE NO SAFE HAVEN - but I do have a Heaven so I can I-"

"_Hell no. Go hide in Hell if you gotta."_

"Okay. Anyway- SO I CANNIT LIVE ANYWHERE, PLEASE YOU ARE MY FATHER AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SAAAAAAAVIOR!", ¬¬ went Mewtwo. "Nowhait. That's a good idea, ya know? Go hide in Hell. Take me to Hell!" he paused dramatically with one bulbous finger-thingy pointing up in the air.

"_Screw 'chu, my son. Get there yourself, okay?"_, Arceus said kindly to his son. **(A/N: How does he tell someone to get out and insult them...kindly? O.o)**

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

**M**eanwhile, the pursuer was getting ever closer. She was close enough to see and hear a little purple speck being ejected out of a portal, screaming for mercy and trying to swim back to the portal. Mew grinned and a crazy, crazy-angry gleam lit up her eyes so that they shined like bacon over the whole world.

**O_O** said Mewtwo's little, purple, specky face. said the rest of his body.

"I HATE YOU AAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!..."

"Now, now that isn't a very nice thing to say to your older sister, is it, sweetie pie? I think I'm going to have to PUNISH you..."

**The End of This Chapter. So long!**

**A/N: **:3 I left you on a cliffie, didn't I? And yes, I _do_ mean bacon. D: Short chapter. I'm gonna go try and update my Warriors fic now. Or at least write the next chapter for it. It's so shooooort. T~T


End file.
